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Today, I feel alone more than ever. When I look at everyone, it seems like things are actually happening in their lives whereas mine is slowing down. Now, Everybody's Changing by Keane is playing in my head, feeling like a show or something. I'm soooo weird.

I don't want to be alone anymore. :'(

There's a lot where my sadness is coming from and not just about the matters of the heart. I've been dealing with this for a few weeks now. Just thinking about it makes me cry. I guess I don't need to really tell the story about that, let's just say, my favorite person in the whoooole world is moving to another country...and that's my sister. That being said, it just feels like...no words (can describe how I feel). I just started crying like I've never cried before while typing this (it actually helped a lot because I got to release what I'm feeling). I think my emotions are just pushing me to the edge. If you ask me, I REALLY don't want to feel anything...AT ALL. I want to numb myself and to clear my head from anything that would lead to realizing that I'm alone.

I may seem discouraged now but I still believe and I'm not going to give up. Who knows, I'm just a few days, weeks or months away from meeting the man I'm going to love for the rest of my days and beyond. But for now, I'm done looking, I'm done confusing myself that every guy I feel attracted to is possibly the right one.

Before I started writing, I watched this video, it is a testimony about meeting the right person. You know what, I was reminded of what I would keep telling myself (but eventually grew tired of it). I always tell myself (pretty much most of what I write in my blog as well) that when I meet the right person for me, I'll know. I don't know how to describe it, but it would be like a discernment or a certainty that I'll be spending the rest of my days with this person. When I meet that person, I will not hold back, I will not give in to my fears, and I won't let that person go.

Oh man, I really don't have a clue why I feel like this for days now. I can't wait for my breakthrough. I really don't want to feel like this anymore. Well, that pretty much sums it up. Although, I don't really feel like going into details about my emotions and I'm sure I didn't make any sense at all with this post. I just need an outlet because my heart couldn't handle this anymore.

Mmkay, whoever gets to read this, bear with me. I really hope I could write something upbeat soon. Keeping my fingers crossed on that, believe me, I'd rather share how happy I am than sad. Time for some shut eye. Goodnight! x