Right now, I can hardly describe what I'm feeling. It seems that I'm in between everything...in general.
...after 30 mins:
While writing this, I'm also multitasking and seeing blog posts on my Tumblr account as well. You know, what I realize now is, for every question that I have, God answers them right away in His own way, sometimes, we just need to look hard. In my case, he lets me see them in the things I'm interested to do, like reading, checking out other blogs, etc.
Earlier, I was feeling in between things, but now, I still have questions about why these things are happening in my life, however, I don't fear the results anymore as much as I was almost an hour ago. Thing is, I think and worry too much. And I don't have to worry because I know that God is working on my life, these things happen to make me stronger, to learn more about myself and to appreciate things. I need to believe that I'm capable of making things happen and that God gave me skills to do that, sometimes I'm just too blind to see it. Sometimes, I just tend to overlook things that turns out mean sooo much in my life. Each realization that I have leads to where I'm supposed to be and I won't stop until I get there. I may have to wait a while longer, but it will be worth it, for sure. I'm just simply waiting for God's best.
"If God asks you to wait, He will make sure that the wait will be worth it."
Going to keep this short because I don't have much to say anymore. This I know for sure, I'm blessed and things will work out soon. :)
Bye! x
Saturday, March 2, 2013
Thursday, January 17, 2013
Dreams/Revelations
It has been five months since I decided to leave all the bad things behind and to focus on my relationship with God. All those months gave a new perspective, major changes (improvements) and most especially, my love for God grew so much, that I won't go through a day without praying and talking/spending time with Him.
I'm becoming the woman I never thought that I dream to be.
Looking back, I've had my fair share of experiences that helped me become the person that I am today. I wouldn't say I regret making those decisions that caused heartbreaks and being seriously broken, because with each of the trials that I faced...and still facing, are God's ways of polishing me and for me to be so much closer to Him. Before, I was looking for the wrong things, I thought I needed to fill a hole in my heart, and I thought that being with someone would give me happiness...but I was completely wrong. It was just temporary happiness, worldly things. Then I realized that it was not what I needed, I was being attacked by the devil and not having a strong faith, I fell for it every single time and I ended up wounded. And if I didn't have a patient sister who never gave up on me, I would never find my way back.
Since I decided to regain my relationship with God, everything was just great! Of course, everyday is a spiritual battle, but I wouldn't trade it for having God in my life. I learned so much, I finally learned to love myself, I showed my family how much they matter to me by spending time with them, going to church with them, communicating more, etc. When I don't spend time with them, I feel as though, I'm missing so much already.
I can't fully explain how happy I am to be where I am right now and how stoked I am to see what God planned for me in the future. See, I wouldn't be here without God's grace and I thank Him each and every day for always holding my hand through all the battles I faced and for being there for the happy times as well.
Yesterday, before sleeping, I read my devotionals and the reading plans I follow on Youversion. The devotionals were talking about dreams or being specific about my future. There were questions that made me reflect, like:
1. What do you want to be be?
2. What do I want to do?
3. What do I want to have?
4. Why do I want it?
My answer surprised me because they were not at all what I wanted before. I wouldn't be specific here, but just to give a hint, it was all about serving God and that dream/plan made me realize that I should start working on it now. Surprisingly, I didn't question myself if I could do it, because at that moment, I knew God is revealing His plans for me and I'm willing to work for it to get to that dream.
What I also realized now is that God is giving me a preview of His plans for me. And I'm definitely looking forward to each moments when God unfolds all His plans for me.
It's just five months and I'm already feeling true happiness, love and appreciation for everything, what more after a year or a few years... I'm still a work in progress and needs polishing.
Well, I need to stay strong for I'll be facing many battles in the future, but no problem is bigger than God, I know I'll get by.
Stay tuned. ;)
x
I'm becoming the woman I never thought that I dream to be.
Looking back, I've had my fair share of experiences that helped me become the person that I am today. I wouldn't say I regret making those decisions that caused heartbreaks and being seriously broken, because with each of the trials that I faced...and still facing, are God's ways of polishing me and for me to be so much closer to Him. Before, I was looking for the wrong things, I thought I needed to fill a hole in my heart, and I thought that being with someone would give me happiness...but I was completely wrong. It was just temporary happiness, worldly things. Then I realized that it was not what I needed, I was being attacked by the devil and not having a strong faith, I fell for it every single time and I ended up wounded. And if I didn't have a patient sister who never gave up on me, I would never find my way back.
Since I decided to regain my relationship with God, everything was just great! Of course, everyday is a spiritual battle, but I wouldn't trade it for having God in my life. I learned so much, I finally learned to love myself, I showed my family how much they matter to me by spending time with them, going to church with them, communicating more, etc. When I don't spend time with them, I feel as though, I'm missing so much already.
I can't fully explain how happy I am to be where I am right now and how stoked I am to see what God planned for me in the future. See, I wouldn't be here without God's grace and I thank Him each and every day for always holding my hand through all the battles I faced and for being there for the happy times as well.
Yesterday, before sleeping, I read my devotionals and the reading plans I follow on Youversion. The devotionals were talking about dreams or being specific about my future. There were questions that made me reflect, like:
1. What do you want to be be?
2. What do I want to do?
3. What do I want to have?
4. Why do I want it?
My answer surprised me because they were not at all what I wanted before. I wouldn't be specific here, but just to give a hint, it was all about serving God and that dream/plan made me realize that I should start working on it now. Surprisingly, I didn't question myself if I could do it, because at that moment, I knew God is revealing His plans for me and I'm willing to work for it to get to that dream.
What I also realized now is that God is giving me a preview of His plans for me. And I'm definitely looking forward to each moments when God unfolds all His plans for me.
It's just five months and I'm already feeling true happiness, love and appreciation for everything, what more after a year or a few years... I'm still a work in progress and needs polishing.
Well, I need to stay strong for I'll be facing many battles in the future, but no problem is bigger than God, I know I'll get by.
Stay tuned. ;)
x
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
Prayers
Started the prayer + fasting yesterday, I must say, it's really difficult. But I have not prayed like I have last night. I got to know God better and it feels fantastic!
Lately, been facing a lot of spiritual struggles, but joining this prayer and fasting that we have in my church opens my eyes to the answers and making my heart stronger than ever. See, that's one of my biggest challenges, I feel as though, if a problem comes along, I feel like my heart is not strong enough to handle it, but talking to God and the right people actually helps a lot in making me feel better.
One thing I also realized when I watched the day 1 of the prayer and fasting service at church (online) was when we pray, we need to ask God to examine our hearts and the most important is to know God better as well. If you would notice, when we pray, we always ask God for something, but it wouldn't hurt if we also thank Him for all the things He did for us, to worship Him and to let Him know how much we love Him. Last night, when I prayed, I felt so connected to God because I did not just ask and ask about what I need, I took time to thank Him first and that was the time I realized/felt how blessed I am. Sometimes, despite our struggles, there are still blessings and we should just take a deeper look.
Today, I kept on talking to God and I can't wait to go home to watch the stream of day 2 of the prayer and fasting at church because I'll learn more about the almighty Lord. I'm getting more and more in love with the Lord and that is the place where I want to be.
According to Pastor Peter from last Sunday service: Talk less, pray more. :)
Lately, been facing a lot of spiritual struggles, but joining this prayer and fasting that we have in my church opens my eyes to the answers and making my heart stronger than ever. See, that's one of my biggest challenges, I feel as though, if a problem comes along, I feel like my heart is not strong enough to handle it, but talking to God and the right people actually helps a lot in making me feel better.
One thing I also realized when I watched the day 1 of the prayer and fasting service at church (online) was when we pray, we need to ask God to examine our hearts and the most important is to know God better as well. If you would notice, when we pray, we always ask God for something, but it wouldn't hurt if we also thank Him for all the things He did for us, to worship Him and to let Him know how much we love Him. Last night, when I prayed, I felt so connected to God because I did not just ask and ask about what I need, I took time to thank Him first and that was the time I realized/felt how blessed I am. Sometimes, despite our struggles, there are still blessings and we should just take a deeper look.
Today, I kept on talking to God and I can't wait to go home to watch the stream of day 2 of the prayer and fasting at church because I'll learn more about the almighty Lord. I'm getting more and more in love with the Lord and that is the place where I want to be.
According to Pastor Peter from last Sunday service: Talk less, pray more. :)
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
On My Way - Part 2
Screenshot from the music video On My Way by Boyce Avenue. :)
I cannot stress enough how much I like this song. One of my favorites now.
Law of attraction. That's what I'm doing and at the same time, I'm trying to be the best person I could be in order to have a wonderful future ahead with my future partner.
I just fell in love with that part of the music video, that's why I took a screen shot of it and copied it on my lappy. I also made it my cover photo on Facebook which is kind of ridiculous, however, I don't mind what will other think...at all!
Anyway, I think I'll keep this post short. Goodnight!
New Favorite Music
Mmkay, so recently, I started listening to Ed Sheeran and his music is just awesome! ;) Just the feel good songs I love listening to. ♥ my favorites are Lego House and Kiss Me :)
On My Way
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
Should've Waited
I think I made the wrong decision by asking him about what he felt about me two weeks ago. I should have waited, but instead, I followed what my office friends told me to do, which is pretty much the most idiotic thing I've done.
I knew that it was the wrong thing, that's why I was pretty much hesitant the whole time they were texting him. My mind was clouded with so many thoughts, that I thought it was a good idea at the time, because when I talked to my office friends, I was pretty much convinced to do it to get it over with, to find the answer I was looking for.
Now, I know it was wrong, I guess a part of me glad it happened because I know how he feels about me, but at the same time I feel guilty because I felt like I pushed him too far. Basically, just pushed him away. Although, this gave me more clarity about what I truly wanted. I'm not going to hate guys just because this keeps on happening, however, what I truly needed is to love myself first before I could be with anybody and second, I need to embrace being single before I get into a relationship. I wouldn't want to get myself into a situation where in I won't be able to handle or when things get tough, I'll run away from it.
I wanted to be the best that I could be before I get myself into this. Remember, green light? If it would be the right thing for me all along, there should be green lights, no red lights.
Here's a line from How I Met Your Mother that I really liked, this is when Ted told Barney: "We gotta wait for the real thing, no matter how tough it gets."
I knew that it was the wrong thing, that's why I was pretty much hesitant the whole time they were texting him. My mind was clouded with so many thoughts, that I thought it was a good idea at the time, because when I talked to my office friends, I was pretty much convinced to do it to get it over with, to find the answer I was looking for.
Now, I know it was wrong, I guess a part of me glad it happened because I know how he feels about me, but at the same time I feel guilty because I felt like I pushed him too far. Basically, just pushed him away. Although, this gave me more clarity about what I truly wanted. I'm not going to hate guys just because this keeps on happening, however, what I truly needed is to love myself first before I could be with anybody and second, I need to embrace being single before I get into a relationship. I wouldn't want to get myself into a situation where in I won't be able to handle or when things get tough, I'll run away from it.
I wanted to be the best that I could be before I get myself into this. Remember, green light? If it would be the right thing for me all along, there should be green lights, no red lights.
Here's a line from How I Met Your Mother that I really liked, this is when Ted told Barney: "We gotta wait for the real thing, no matter how tough it gets."
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